god save the queen

yeah i am gwtting back at flying the flag for my cool political ideology - for nothing and against most of everything...


as you know most political assumptions are utterly stupid not unlike the one here - but i am feeliong very investigative today and am know showing this even if it might not make me more popular or appealing to the larger public...

yours, haselore kohl

three chord wonders

today i am taking some lessons on the toy piano and i was going to be the next cool gaye advert - but rather on the bass pedals not on the four strings - so that i can play a bit of a melody as well..!!!
and my cool plan was that before i will meet up with a real organ i would train my skills on an instrument that's a bit easier to play! .. and what i found out is that it is real hard if not impossible to get a proper chord out of this thing here!


i would not mind the missing third cause i was just aiming for the open fifth (and by the way i only got two paws anyhow! plus the magic word powerchord alone makes the fur on my spine stand up inna row. but it would not work as somehow any sounds i got out of the instrument seemed to consist of the roots only and that's just not the same as the undertones sound like... well... i am trying on - this has got to work at some point even if i was told it were only a monophonic instrument and i still have to look up what that actually means, but later on, not know...


cause know i stll gotta practice for some time and in the coming days i will have to finish my cool interview with hot black desiato of hostages of ayatollah fame und i gotta check out if i can jump somebun else's flipflops...


well, see you around, i'm going to have a cuppa and carry on practicing hard!


laters, yours haselore

when the music's over

...

some months ago my friend spidey has pissed off to some other country and is know gone forever!


sometimes i really miss him and especially i do when i am realizing i never have any new influences in my compostion cause nobun will play any new music to me...


so... i am sitting round at home on my own waiting for some inspiration to hopefully come from out of nowhere and i don't think it will....


but captain starlight from cologne might come back to town to record some stuff awith me


but music will just not be the same without spidey and every bunny else seems rather bored too


...and going out to a club these days is also really boring know...


so i am sitting here and waiting for her to get sacked and return to hannover!


yours haselore


PS well, looking at this i wonder how anybunny ever will get to be somebun that's not actually herself but somebun else; probably bun has to have some operation to get this done and make bun look more like zander schloss than she already does!

... and the horse she rode in on

...

"wish i had a black cortina, whiplash areal - racing trim - cortina owner no one meaner - wish that I could be like him" ...it is a queer joke, innit? i got invited to my pal SH's place and we were gonna have tea in the afternoon! but I did not a f'in cortina handy and the weather was so badthat i had to look for alternatives but walking their...


and i really found no better option to go down to the limmer than the one you can see on the photo.


but somehow i ended up waiting in vain, sadly my friend did not show up - so i hope that somebun else will give me a lift back to town!


...and I wish that my means of transport is going to be a big red cortina but not again some f'ed up horse's f'ed up back!


sincerely yours, haselore kohl

american heavy metal weekend

...

yesterday i thought about my musical career and how it has not developed at all recently and that it would not come forward in massive steps . not like my journalistic career which is ace by the way!

my musical career seems to be somewhat kept on standby... apparently because i have no smashing arrangements with exotic instruments... and so i thought about getting the one instrument which would help me to raise some eyebrowes like tocotronic did when they had a steel guitar in there arrangement for the song freiburg - but a better one for they had only a simple lap steel and it did not look like if the guy playing it had all the capabilities and skills to get a really cool sound apart from just a bit of treble here and some twang there and there's he still got to practice his palm blocking and pick blocking, but i would doubt that the band have got the time for extensive traing onna pedal steel because they did not even have time for a f'ng interview or sign my bloody Mower Book when they came down to hannover in summer to play some greasy festival...

so i checked out my friend JS's personal collection of samples pics and i must say - the chaps playing the instruments best do look allright and seem to be sensible ones - not the kind of jolly scummys that i usually hang out with and later end up with at some messed up bar down the linden...


so i got inna hurry to get to the music shop in time to find out if they had these fancy instruments and how much they were and if not if they at least knew of somebun who had them on sale and maybe even better knew how to play these things at all...



cause anybun can do with two simple guitars and most people will like you better if you do creative and unsusual stuff like playing a fxxkinx pedal steel and you will surely get rewarded by the crowd like myself did inna cool video that was up inna last blog


so you should get yourself a well paid job to buy a pedal steel guitar and even more important: you should be learning how to play that bitch inna proper manner so you gotta read the right columns down the important magazines!


because if you just play the cheap and simple instruments i am sure you will hardly gather a street team of cool bunnies promoting your band's name around yourselves.


but the shop was closed by the time that i finally arrived their! ..and even worse: all the very exciting exotic instruments were not on display there or much too expensive like that fiine ukulele that were gonna fit perfectly with my paws!


because if you don't plan to bomb a bank actually you should not be that stupid wasting all your precious time running around with explosives ready to knock down somebun else's evil government ! you should rather get a cool instrument because the more exotic your gear is the more money people downtown will pay you to just leave them alone and stop playing instead of getting on their nerves in vain



'cause you need some type of anchor to get people hooked. and hier krepiert do not only share those cool HK initials with my beautiful self but they have rocking rolf drumming for them which means they don't need expensive gear! cause if you do have rocking rolf as a drummer his very presence helps to get your band's name promoted by a highly motivated street dream team tagging your name onto the underground stations' walls downtown - exactly like somebun did with local blues-dubsters hier krepiert's bandname cause apparently somebun were trying to impress rolf.


and you will need expensive equipment cause otherwise people will think your band is rubbish....! and you would not want that, would you?
when you call your band hier krepiert II - then you can do just about anything with nobun getting angry at you - even if you will probably at first will use the instruments that are easier to perform on and much cheaper to get hold of...


... and later even take some screwed up organ's ridddim instead of a real drums'n'bass for a backing track. so better get your selves cool keyboards soon and get ready to compose your own lullabies for your kids like me pal king V does!


well, as for my self i am off to bed know, yours, haselore

career opportunities

there was a job on offer that i should have about another 11 months to apply for. the promo poster says it is only for four days - possibly inna beginning of nextjanuary. i think it has to do something with being jahs COO down on earth and answering the calls on her mofo.


i think that jah herself is gonna be a good boss, she'll probably only have me performing on the easier tasks like preaching to the converted, feeding poor hasmuth and other bunnies with shit and so on and on... this is easy cause most of the tasks gotta be done ex-cathedra!


then, finally people might value what i am doing here and give me a double paws up and some well needed pawclaps!



that's gonna be much better than standing outside inna cold being ordered around by some soem fascist type squad leader


that job as a cool popess should give me the opportunity to get bunfam going to make a little money for the poor and needy and to fight poverty in general.


starting by fighting my own poverty of course. cause as it looks know hasmuth never paid for my christmas gift box and my new cool dresses have not been delivered as of the time being - and i really want these if i gotta pay for them myself or not


i am getting tired of waiting for the mailman, so i am off to bed for now and i 'll probably be dreaming about a pink guitar cause it would fit just fine with my classy dress,
yours haselore


PS: before I forget - once again here's some cool flowers

windowshopping for a new crown of thorns

...

the weather looked so heavily mannered that it made bun want to hang out at home all day, listening to solstice or throbbing gristle or some other very evil music


sitting round at home, just making plans for nigel and how to bomb his real estate


so in order to stay sane i had to get out into the grand white open and that made me remember the band with the most extraordinarily dressed singer on earth. you can watch this for yourselves even if you might not like it. and you gotta look at the cool scottish winter that's just like scottish summer minus the migets


have a close look at the clip and watch that ultracool fringed leather jacket roddy frame is wearing - just smashing, init? and if you'll listen to the song carefully you'll easily notice that this version differs very much from the one on the high land hard rain album. but except for my good pal rat probably nobun will notice anyway cause there too busy listening to mp3s by tool (which is an american band by the way...)


aztec camera are further responsible for one of the best covers onna face of this planet (as usually bun could add...) - and you all now this horrible tune written by eddie


from my point of view (which is a very low point...) most obviously roddy frame was one of the brightest shining lights out of scotland, and he was something like an eighties version of stevie winwood - rockstar by the age of eighteen and a forgotten goner by the age of twenty five.


before you go and leave your house for real you'll have to check things out and then play your cards cool cause there is some risks you gotta take. especially if you walk over to the linden. even if the tabloids try to make you believe differently...


during this time of year you should pack some potent explosives to bomb your way through ice and snow.


... further you will need strong company and this gotta materialize as plastic cash just in case you're running out of luck and into a street gang or some f'in dog and you have to bribe your way out of a possible mess before you get seriously injured


..and if you don't have that spare quid for a cab handy in your pockets you might get hit and run over by some bus - just accidentally


down the getto of linden i realized for the first time that there were the same organizations around that we have at home, well... not exactly at home...


but we got some heavily armed vehicles in case of trouble


this said it is not very wise to walk the streets of linden without a gat and a map...


so you better run for shelter inna church. i asked them if her divine majesty happened to be in for service but she weren't and they kicked me out for asking stupid questions. back then i did not know that the shining star on the top of the roof is a sign they put on to tell people that jah is busy with her shopping and that she can't answer any questions right now not even on her mofo


two blocks away from that church I saw a building and i wondered if i could meet up with jah or any other of the really cool gods in there


but the door was closed and know i think it were just the office of the atiberian communist party. there's lots of them inna linden who think they got anything to do with politics when there just interested in blowing there brains out on cheap booze while practising a bit of a pow wow while having a smoke


most places here are very similar indeed to those that i know from the midlands, they got hi-rise living and they got houses that look like squats... and they got those cheap bars where the music is loud but still overshadowed by the senseless babbling of the drunkards...


and if i come to look at it more closely i am not too sure that I want to be buried on neither the real part of hannover on the other side of the bridge not here on the shit part


inna place where even the energy is so positive that its got its own shiny pink logo


and where there's just promises by greedy shopkeepers - cause you won't find any good winter clothing down these shops to keep you warm and cosy - just some sorta stuff that makes me think of TG again, dunno why...


most of the places down the linden look like...


well ... i spare you that fourletterword for the better


because we all now: bettah muss come! ... and bettah better come real soon!




and if bettah not come, I just hope that I won't end up an epileptic...



same to you, yours haselore kohl

dali's sunflower

...

yes it's probably true and everybunny is promoting this... but what i am promoting now again is not some dogshit but indeed is one of the best coverversions onna face of this planet. ...and it's by frightwig who sadly never got their act together or even made a good album back then ... and it's not only cool because it is a cover by the unforgettable shonen knife


too bad that i cannot find the coverversion of the latter song that was done by government issue when they were at there peak - so you will have to look it up somewhere on the old shonen knife tribute sampler for yourselves

again, you will notice i got some very cool flowers here - it does not look exactly like dali's sunflower, but... what the heck... here it is anyway



enjoy, yours haselore kohl

arms race

...
i was onna internet gathering information about cool hardcore cause I can't be bothered to remember all those very important dates in my head and especially not after i took my little trip to bankholidayland and i could not remember very much of anything when i woke up again some two or three days later


and i got very surprised when i as usually looked up my name onna internet to check if my personal websites were top of the internet's pops. as you can guess my name's first choice even if and erspecially when your're onna internet and thus highly ranked down there! but then i found info about myself that was not made by myself!


fucking rumours none of which are true - word to your moms!!! right on my screen and appearing on my personal internet.

but maybe that's my own fault - apparently I had become the talk of the town due to my shortlived relation with that certain Freddy 'asper whose past existence in my life i won't neither hasmuth nor my pal michel vaillant to now about, cause i think questions could arise from their sides that i have no good answers for yet...


it all started when i went down to the local weapons dealer where i was looking for some effective ammo to wipe out dogs, horses, cats, nazis, dogs, horses, politicians, hell's angels wannabees, dogs, horses, racists, record company executives, horses and dogs as well as a whole lot of other social parasites getting well onto my nerves these days!

obviously the arms operation was subject to an improved new management cause when i was entering the store i was being friendly greeted by a handsome young bun with a raised fist inna very cool black panthers' style. ... and somebun instantly attracted my attention - not so much for his cheap smile and cheesy smile...



but certainly very much due to the fact that freddy 'asper was wearing these very loud and very expensive looking mechanical paws made from titanium or whatever...

i felt attracted to him inna way and soon i was listening to the guys' fucking c.v. and to storys like how he was a vet of the jugoslavian war and he began asking me questions like should he kick in the other guy's door inna appartment right above his own, the guy who gets on his nerves by playing blaing loud loud dance music... basically he told me a lot of stuff i could very well relate to...


he had some interesting tales to tell and i offered him to do an interview at my place when hasmuth was off b-boying or whatever he calls dat weak shit...


but when this prick came round for the interview he was only trying to get at my hooters!
so i was only goping to meeet him once again after that to tell him our relationship were finished after he tried to lick my paws.


.. what i thought was really strange behaviour regarding i had not washed them for the last couple of months and literally had been wading through a lot of shit onnem... and i wondered if i could have gotten VD'd by this creep through my fur - which is a cool fur but not anti- septic which could mean my early demise


all in all i was very confused - and i was ashamed that i let Freddy 'asper into my life!


i thought it were the best solution to sort out a bike and take an easy way out at 23 x 42 mp/h.
but on my way through the park to nick some machine down linden rather but not here - cause in linden 90% of the bikes people have in use are stolen hannover property anyway.


but then i got aware that some of my brothas and sistas have worse problems than my beautiful self and that they don't need no editoress onna holiday but rather a cool editoress that makes others out there aware of the real problems and even more important: down here!


honestly, there is brothas out their who are in definite need of some read and digest


so they stay well fed and healthy and are witty and clever enough to escape even the best equipped hunting party coming down to their burrow!!


i think I'll have to install bunfeed at some point in life, but not now because i am getting very tired and will have to take a rest. have a good one, yours, haselore

sweet leaf

...

after my last post i were not sure if they were somebun out there who were going to ... well ... "anstoß nehmen und auf dich bezug nehmen" i think it is called inna jerry's language - and i were not so sure any more if this place right here onna internet were really a place where everybun should have her own opinion, even more if bun were planning to express herself very juicy and most of all disreputably against most of the real twats running things over here rather than going places down some bun else#s place


so to cool down from all the hassle i thought i'd see some sort of specialty shop and get some equipment for heavy relaxation through some herbal medicment...


might be going places inna couple of minutes and get some vibes of a man who got shot by his neighbour inna cool argument involving the allover important question "who owns the fridge?"




but there is more to come soon when i have finished my short trip - well, again, beware of the evil neighbour who owns a gat or two and take


as the yanks say - stay aware untill the music's over and don't get your selves involved in a plan that involves high sales figres selling fridges in wintertime especially when it's a cold winter, yours haselore kohl

deutschland der deutschen

...


when I went out onna cold streets begging for money to get the desired tiger tank i was having a close look at the newsagent's papers for some news about my favourite teams - actually i was going to get some news about how der schleifer got on at schalke, but know look wot i saw onna printed internet, cause i found a story about another kevin..


and...hey, 'poseur brat' russell died inna horrible car accident???! awesome!! wot a bummer!!!


he had been embarrassing my country and my people with his fake english name and his poor pronounciation of what he thinks is proper german for the worse part of the last 45 years and giving shit to italian restaurants as well...


and somebun apparently paid by achmadinejihad finally did him in! sweeping him off the A66 inna cool manoeuver!! ... just setting the cunt ablaze inna very cool fireball!!!


'let jah sort 'em out' as the saying goes and she fucking did! and i think this is just brilliant!! very sadly nobun down A66 had any coins handy so bun could make a call for an ambulance - so that kev the prick just got toasted - melting away just like your mind does after a few roll ups...


bottom line: jah's proven herself to be the best goddess around - but now she should hurry up to get them other pricks dun in as well! anyone down ireland beg to differ? don't think so...


... for they are shit germans - those dull idiots that make the jerrys a really bad name abroad, especially in ireland and spain!! ... and as you can guess the worst thing is their horrible fanswho are obviously not more than just a bunch of loser dylexics...


well, too bad for smart boy kev now...


... that obviously he was under the influence of medicines and did not feel any pain when getting barbecued inna morris minor. while the arabian assassins could make a fast escape in their racing car - to spend new year inna expensive house of burlesque -


but when the arabian agents went down there they did not now that the place was owned by a jew


and at night the jew came down to their room with his claws and ripped there arms off and ate there intestines...


well... at least that's the version that you will very probably read onna victims' internet soon!


and yes, smart boy kev, he was a right prick - his horrible vocals wrecked an otherwise halfway decent punk song - so you don't necessesarily need to play "fussball und gewalt" (the title of which roughly translates to "war onna terraces" in our language - which i think is a cool title...)

but now for something completely better than reading about some cheap ass loser cunts from offenbach, know here's some cool hardcore by november 13th that's got nothing to do with the rest, but sounds good...



... at least if you're half deaf from spinning too many heavy rock discs anyway...
...and here's yet another clip by november 13th but i don't have a clue what song exactly they are playing...



just make sure but that nobun lights some fireworks up your bum - very probably not much different from what earth's rightful ruler will do with smart boy kevs' bottom...


... cause when jah met him at zion's gate she was reported to have asked him "wuzzup pussy clot kev? is this what you termites at OFC call havin a proper ruck dung deah or you folks just in need of an excuse for toolin' for anus?"


I'll be off having some buds and i will be enjoying the new order - now that this world's a cooler place finally,
yours haselore

ultramilitance

... yesterday i was maintaining my personal internet and I was surprised to see somebun offering me a deal onna original german tiger tank and obviously it's got tons of cool features to come along with it...


"...and the tiger is very probably the best invention the germans ever had since 1935" said somebun from a local hardcore band - he who shall not (...and not even by his intials) be named - for certain reasons


... trying to become one of the real great british patriots that are out there i have well learned from that horrible mistake chubby chris from combat 84 made politically when inna song he asked for more cruise missiles and got dissed for that by the BM...



so i think getting a chieftain tank might be a better option than spending too many euros on some jerry armoury...


not that i thought the tiger were a bad tank to drive and disrespect you jerrys' engineers... but... as the BM recognised - why should i buy any foreign product when we have so many unemployed workers at home in coventry, birmingham and dozens of other similar fucked up places? ...plus the chieftain is a much better tank than the tiger regarding the fact it's not that old, has a better engine and gun and that it does'nt come inna desert camou paint that'd be really odd to have know that's snowing outside...


it#s just that us british like all that nazi stuff and the longer I thought about it the more the get-a-tiger proposal sounded good cause the ad read that i could just order it and instantly the concept for another cool installation came to mind. i guess i will call it: "some butt plugged frog pastry eagerly chasing a nazi tank while being greeted with cheers by the gay crowd. happening more than 300 miles away from mont martre."



and even better: there offer to most comfortably getting the tank via mailorder hand having it delivered to my doorstep and not having to make a shitty pick it up inna east down some of der national befreite zonen I've read about in some travel guide. where some of der scary zonen-nazis could possibly mix me up me with somebun originating from vietnam if i try to sell some stolen fags there for a little travel money, cause they don't know shit about races their and think there own - mostly inferior looking - jerry race were the best.


... and then I could end up totally fucked up courtesy of stanley knife or screw driver so that i weren't such a pretty bunny anymore! which i think were just terrible cause my face looks good as it is right know!!

from what i hear though is that jah herself is driving one of those invincible german tiger tanks to stop assholes creeping up down mount zion protecting my bruthas and sistas up their having a good time with some excellent herb and not having to share this with some racist scumbag!


man, if that's true now somebun better hurry up get one of those tigers to keep anybun else who i suspect to be a tainted scumbag off my fucking real estate just like jah protects hers!!

... but much better were if i just sent hasmuth down east cause it#s freezing cold outside and he could get lost somewhere onna outside for worse... or for the better...


but i i think won't be that cruel in regard of poor hasmuth and i will rather mailorder a tiger but i need money to have some c.o.it's d. - so i'm off for know, out onna streets again - begging for some money and singing "I -bun satta at the mountain top - watching babylon burning red hot, red hot" and i will have good reason to remember killa "car crash" milla onna on my way down town, cause there was signs posted anywhere to remind you of this man of honour and cool vocal style and it makes clear that if you own a car and some herb and want to party down you should have an extra driver for the way back home


meet you onna internet soon for another one of my cool pieces and always remember to give a helping hand to a brother in need unless you wanna see him roasted and barbecued just like poor old tookie has got...


funny enough that next one should go out to mr. whiteman of the whiteman family, who although may not necessarily have been be a fan of the music was definately into most of the stuff they were about and i'll bet you are too - in spite of what anybun might argue this is one of the coolest covers ever and has a very cool intro!


... and well, karl buechner, in spite of his really strange jerry sounding name he woulda been a cult figure for anybun (not just some bollo hardcore kids who these days just have to pretend that they never played his records) if he at least had tried an abortion before expressing his contempt about this practice cause how can you judge something if you never tried it out for yourselves.

take care as the yanks say, yours

dogs

...

in the past i might have mentioned that i hate dogs but i am not sure. i hate them as well as horses and basically anybunny larger in size than me who could be stepping on my paws or stomping on my head!


probably the best song about dogs is dogs by the who with one of the best lyrical efforts respectively "lines" inna whole history of rhythm'n'blues and it goes by the words of "there was nothing in my life bigger than beer". up to my nowledge that song made blur drop their arnold laine era pink floyd influences and make a whole album about dogs and put in (maybe 2 other songs by george harrison) that they then called parklife because a park is the place where you usually have a good chance to be hunted by some agressive dog which is why i very rarely visit any parks without a gat or my cool explosives belt...


inna last week i tried to interview harry the guard dog and harry were just guarding a kid who gotta collect the cocaine beans somewhere down argentina or elsewhere and if the kid don't collect enough off the caffeine shit going up rich european brat#s noses harry will bite him inna leg - or even worse! but all offa sudden harry were thinking about his boss who might get angry if he were talking and just weren't very communicative anymore at all . so we dropped the interview issue for the better...



talking about dogs, it just came to my mind that i had some cool live clips of cave canem filmed when i was down there practice room back in october of zero 9 to get my pal CK into singing for my band - and i remember that word onna streets has it that onna date of there first show back in summer of zero five somebun actually got bitten by some wicked dog right in front of der stumpf. hey, now that's what i call coincidence! it's just two bad i couldna witnessed it with my own too eyes!!



I do not know what the title of the song is but the next song by cave canem i am going to show you is called luftschloss vs. sturm - well at least I think so...



... to quote the dead kennedys "dog bite - on my leg, not right - supposed to beg" - and with this very cool quote i will leave you for today, yours haselore

till slut: hellsongs fran göteborg

...
finally i managed to retrace those cool photographs showing myself with hellsongs from gothenburg!
...onna warm evening in autumn of zero 9 i had gone off to der mephisto bar (by the way thanks to PS for putting me on his guest list, but I hope that next time he'll put me onna free drinks list there as well!).


göteborg (as the swedes like to call that place and because i am cool i will use that name too from now on) is known to many a headbanger as the city that spawned lots of metal bands like tiamat (who started off as treblinka funny enough...) and at the gates respectively their 'punk' version skitsystem. ... and i think even anti cimex who for my own personal taste would be the best band by far out of the package then, because i think that nihilist and carnage were from stockholm.... but... ring my bell... there was union carbide productions, they were from the original gbg punk scene and they were like one of the best bands in the world who had an albini produced fourth album only to become the soundtracks of our lives later on.



hellsongs sure do have got a great keyboarder who pushes out the necessary few sharp chords you probably need to make versions like that to sound that good...


... and the singer, she's a really good one and she has an exceptional style bun could put it - but just look at her very loud shoes, i wonder if she painted them inna yellow colour all by herself... this is so heavy! plus i really loved her showy shirt that the singer wore cause i thought it would look smashing onna photograph along with the curve-accentuating sequin dress with the plunging neckline i was wearing this night.
... and even better hear know you can check out what hellsongs sound like



after the show i was hanging around hellsongs' merch table...


... and i had a good plan: once i would have attracted there attention and got them into smalltalk their would be no escape for them from my daring questions! i was not going to have another artist's escape like cyness's!

and it worked out: i really got them into the show - first for a cool artist's portrait...


... and a tad later even for my famous 3QK (just 3hree Questions for looking for Kohl) interview and deeply into the artists' persons


you know, hellsongs they are really shy people and i guess they would not even like to see there names printed here, but i think there using fake names any way... so it won't matter - as long as they don't come up to my burrow for sticking carrots up my bum!


so here's the interview with hellsongs: johan, kalle [I'll bet he's named after karl-gustav - för kung och fösterland, yours HK, queen of the cool qute]) & siri who is from norway and therefore does not have a cool swedish name cause walter said the norwegians are not allowed to carry these names cause they are not part of the EC and will never be as for the permanent hunting of whales and fish and i still don't know if i should believe him or not...

LFK: how old are you, johan?
Johan: thirty.... one
LFK: how old are you, kalle?
Kalle: i am as old as the metal scene in gothenburg
LFK: how... aaahhh... siri, what's your favourite flowers? (... as i've obviously realized that Ii can't ask a lady for her real age..)
Siri: Lilies!

LFK: what's the song you like to play most?
Johan: 'war pigs'
Siri: 'perfect. next questtion!'

LFK: how do you feel now after the show?
Johan: 'great! ...and maybe a little bit... kckrckrrkkk' thirsty'
[i don't think that he really said thirsty, to be honest I do not have a clue as to what he said, but as i've probably mentioned elsewhere hellsongs are shy people that speak onna very low level of volume, HxKx]
Kalle: 'great'
Siri: 'great'


i can't find any pictures of lily's [now thats a cool pun, most def! hk] on my hard disk drive right now, but after you enjoyed the who playing it, here is yet another video of hellsongs - and as you know from the cool interview it's hellsong's favourite song!



yours, haselore kohl

call me animal

but as you can see onna photograph i met up with a brother whose doing time... i hope that i can get him into doing a feature for LFK but nothing's sure...


honestly, i am working onna piece (no, not a gat!) inna meantime here's something that's better even than the surviving original white panthers so you as well might enjoy it

best wishes from west germany, yours haselore kohl

new year's day

...
shit i gotta hangover now...


... and i hope i won't catch a cold!


have a nice one, yours haselore

new year's eve

yep folks, the kohls turning there backs onna year zero 9 - and i wonder what the next year will bring - hopefully glam, fame and hard bucks...


hasmuth read the papers, got frightened and just hoped that he would survive new years eve some way...


... cause inna afternoon it had looked like he would not even survive untill the evening!


but he's gotta cool flower for you and now we are going out getting drunk,
yours, haselore kohl

mob rules

...
i was out onna street again - no not for a living, but to check how the cool mullah regime down iran was doing cause achmadinejihad or whatever his complicated name#s spelled correctly, he's a good chap and i envy his wife because he is cool for combining cool suits with a beard and is talking bollocks allday long so that the buddies all hate him and therefore i like that guy quite a lot because he's good entertainmant. other than my hubby hasmuth who's talking rubbish all day long just to annoy me... and his dress is nothing more than just a stupid iron mask that looks so cheap that i think it's just made from a beer can and not by a goldsmith as he would alwyas tell me...


but there was a headline that was much more interesting - and it was about some village up north that publishes a map of the best places to buy some good quality reefer and possibly other cool stuff bun could experiment on! i went down to the station but there weren't any trins for that direction...


so i tried to get more info from the cops down the big supermarket, cause they should now best where that place is and maybe even take me there!


they said i should make myself useful, do some investigation write an essay and sell it to the
local papers - and i had a cool pic with me, but then the cops told me nobun out there is interested in stories about animals because they are boring, so i looked for a different and better issue


they mentioned that i was already getting on there nerves and they told me that if i ever asked them again for what they called "irgendwelcher anderer berauschender substanzen" they'd bust me instantly...


and worse: they even said that if they ever caught me selling any dope in front of pre-schools they would hang me up by the balls [and once again yet - one of my classy puns! yours, HK, smart editoress]


then i went out onna streets again - and it seems that somebun raised some hell for some other buny who did not pay his dues timely - so i got some cool topic! sadly i was a bit late for the actual bombing so there were some technicians onlky busy reconstructing the building...


they had a cool spotlight handy, so that i could have some cool portraits made of myself right onna scene of destruction and devastation


.... but then i got under the impression that i was regarded as something as an attraktion der woche


makes me wonder wonder if those guys never have never seen a female reporter invistigating this closely to the facts, so... what kind offa fucked up world are these guys living in...?


do they really expect me to work as a playboy bunny?? i hope not, cause this would really turn me off... fucking sexist pricks!!!


next day i read that somebun actually got terminated inna mob action (which usually involves ripping off insurance companies as well...) and i realized that i was late with taking my photos to the papers. but good luck was that i found some coins inna snow in front of the shop. and now that i had more dosh than I needed for my travelliong expenses i headed straight for pub that had not been set ablaze yet - but when i arrived there the door was closed though i was curious what was going on in there...



being out onna street usually remeinds me of the song black diamond inna coverversion by the replacements - but i can't find that specific recording onna internet - so you have to get there 'let it be' album to hear it - or you will have to watch something even better, paul westerberg playing i will dare on his own which is real good - but you'll have to watch john doe doing i will dare cause his version is ace!!!


btw: here's a smashing live version of heart full of soul by chris isaak - one of the few standouts of american culture


still succeeding in taking journalism up to the next, better quality level,

honestly yours, haselore k.

how much art can you take?

..

there is not that much art that you will have to take this time, but it is of a better quality than most else's bunny's art. 'cause yesterday i had a meeting with one of the important artists down my barrio, the infamous ES who is beknownst for her regardless agitation against the authorities to stand in her way - and to quote the tom robinson band now: "right on sister!" - or something like that...


the first piece of art that i am going to show you is a cool installation going by the name of "Schaf hilft Pferd beim Kopfstand". in english this title translates to "A disgusting horse hopefully breaking her neck trying to perform the turnvater fritzen - being executed by some cool sheep for who i am gonna buy a couple of drinks later on"


her next piece is a rather abstract painting that deals with the topic of a subject getting physically and mentally dealt with by the authorities and how under such circumstances that subject would view her personal guard inna distorted way as a response to the oppression of mind and body - at least that#s what i got as a comment to this piece out of the artists flatmate cause the artist herself she were off to bed already as for not feeling well...


if i can remember clearly the painting was called "ach, die da oben..." and bun could roughly translate this to "it's a training course - by forces of oppression" though somebun might argue this were a bit of an oversimplification to the matter ... well, art for art's sake really tires me, but this has got some meaning. same goes for the best installation ever by teddy novak, that



is called "hitfits" and it has a very complex soundtrack recording coming along with it!


now enjoy the artwork and ask yourself how for much longer you will tolerate stuff like this... but what's more nazi than a cool slamdance pit? probably nothing! so enjoy some volence, and that's got really nothing to do with the rest of the text here...


up yours, haselore kohl

atrocity exhibition

..

... inna dim light at der glocksee i had problems recognizing what sky was wearing there...


but it was resembling something i knew I had already well documanted some other night!


due to my cool ability of linking the facts faster than anybunny else in her brain - even right here down babylon - i knew exactly what was going on and I told dumont some lies of how i fancied his new cool tattoo and thus managed to get a ltlle bit closer to him ... maybe a bit too close because he even let me inspect his new beltbuckle closely - but i weren't too impressed with that 'cause that annoying ticking of his mighty watch was so loud that a ringing started in me ears!


well i'm off - I'll listen to some schwarzenbach rather than to more of the depressing stuff cause after all he's got a better voice than hangman when he don't sing the real depressing stuff plus a better guitar sound and as for myself: i gotta get up too early.


so do like i would do and do yourself a favour and stop listening to shit music - whatever that is defined as...
these days, yours haselore

give the mule what she wants

..
and as you can guess she is is well into heavy rock - so somebun gotta have dinner before going out so that the basspsrts would not turn her stomach upside down


because.. inna last week i waent off to an oldschool hard blues rock evening with bits of distorted guitars, tambourine and some bass heavy grooves - yeah in der very cool lokalpatrioten style and "supporting two dedicated local bands who deserve the attention well"- as the guy from profane existence magazine would have very probably put it - providing she still had the magazine going...


onna way to der glocksee i passed a devastated old building with old ads for boring documantaries inna "the soviet army meet der reichstag" style once glued to them


down at der glocksee i soon made aquaintance with my pal king v. and he took me to his room, where he had a session going on with hier krepiert III. but what they were playing down the cellar with his band... well... to be quite honest sounded a bit senseless to me... and sometimes really ouit of tune... inna way.... as you might want to check out for your beautiful selves by clicking right here


and as you will have probably already found for yourselves out by know is that i gotta watch hier krepiert playing some of the most awful hippie type krautrock filled with so many old cliches that I#ve rarely heard them performed this boldly in recent times...

then came the time h.o.r.e kicked off their set at the cafe and i went up the icy flight of stairs straight direction of little babylon to check them out for myself and they were alright and real heavy as you can see right here

h.o.r.e. were really well trained and they did have a wall of sound. i bet that they could have gone on for much longer than they actually played. ... and i think they maybe played for a bit longer than what would have been necessary - but after all: they have a tambourine and they were gonna use it in some of they're songs which i think is very cool & hyenas style, and i thought they were playing some proper when the levee breaks styled hard & heavy rock with lots of cool beats. .. and as for my very self; i had a rteally good time onna dancefloor!

though some people inna audience giving me there cool evil eyes and i still dunno why; maybe they did not like that i was in company of a professional film team and a couple of bodyguards - but nevermind the bollocks and just screw the lot of them - i was having stupid fun!


but then what i will never understand about h.o.r.e. and all other bands over here using english lyrics is that why on earth they are singing inna english language that most jerrys simply won't understand as my previous experiences inna dis country here show from what i have experienced with it's natives... and for real: nobun here in germany is really interested in understanding any english though they all use it for making up there fake english-style words like calling a bleeding mofo a fucking handy - the nips you know, they at least can write some english which makes up for their terrible pronounciation and that they don't understand a word you say, but the jerrys... you know, they all think they are fucking US citizens just because they had some of ther buddies' nukes stored under some motorways and bridges and honestly the fritzens are nothing better than what you would have thought of the frogs...

i mean, german's such a heavy language to learn as I know from my daily experiences, so why'd you learn another language once you got top speak your own halfway properly at least...
but now you should now rather enjoy another short vid showing myself getting onna dancefloor yet again after having a short nip onna bar table, than endlessly thinking about what language you're going to use in your next sentence




later after the show it was time to meet up with the important stickie behind the decks and getting dumont into playing some lazy sunday so i could hop around for some more time cause i would not want to go home to hear fucking juggaknots with hasmuth - but then fuck sixties prog rock what was that onna her arm....


well, this needs some further and a real properly done investigation! for sure soon onna looking for kohl

see you around, yours haselore

dressed to kill

..
man, that's supposed to be the best christmas i've ever had!
hasmuth maybe a small minded idiot who is listening to crap music only and stealing money from my purse, but this time he must have robbed more than just filling stations because he can't have found that much money in my bag!

for christmas he has actually ordered tailor made designer dresses for me! so i can get dressed properly for all those cool interviews and features that I am going to do soon!


you know when i got to know hasmuth he was still a mod. but he never ever did a good job maintaining his scooter and he did not listen to the small faces and early stones so the other mods would not accept him, especially when some of them started to follow the skinhead cult and hasmuth did not want to shave the fur from his head!



so he turned to hip hop and rap where you just have to do silly hops and talk in funny patterns like "everytime i time i wanna go, get a fucking brew i gonna go down to the store with the two - orientalonepenny countin muthafuckas they make somebunny mad enough to cause a li'l ruckus..." [heeeehhhh!!! that's blatant racism and i feel very much insulted! your smart editoress, hk]

honestly, what's better than listening to the pistols and staring at the first of five cool dresses in total disbelief?!?

... and here now is a brilliant dress that looks like jamie reed finally told viv westwood how to design a proper outfit for the evening and not the usual crap she's been doing for the last 33 years! and it's even got a tiara as a cool bonus! and that's an acessoire that will not actually save the fur on my head from being burnt by the hot sun - but it should look so very cool once iI wear it!


incredible! the second dress looks very much like versace's interpretation of an old blut & eisen or schleimkeim record... i think this is really cool for any interview where i meet any american band. be it from the south or the north of the amricas.
.. but the more i see the more i believe that i should meet a band from chile or perhaps from spain, providing they have any bands at all down these countries - I will have to find out if there are any bands!
I think I will look lkike a cool parody and way more attractive than siouxsie or even arnie's mum in her prime!!!



blimey! the third one is a cool camouflage dress and this should be really useful when i go out into the woods to assisst some hunt sab buddies or should i say bunnies...?
and this cool outfit will help me not to get shot accidently as for looking so very similar to a common hare somebun wants to have for dinner or wearing his fur...
i just wondered from where on my blog the designer picked up the image. i can't remember at all...



this unbeatable dress is supposed to look very cool! and my cool dress that i brought over from the west country was combined with an image of that cool heart i am always wearing when i put my saxon west on...


oh boy! now this is very exciting!!! somebun even took her time to make some bootleg portrait of mine!


man, what's that? that's awesome! how much will that have costed my hubby to order?



and the dress looks just like if somebun like mark perry finally told westwood what a really cool outfit looks like! I wonder what kind of hat i will wear for that. maybe my cool woolen balaclava that top-designer HYL made for me!

once i have this dress in my greedy paws it looks like i should request another interview with the Franz Wittich - one of the best band leaders onna face of this planet!



if hasmuth reads this and just in case he could not read between the lines -
I am bleeding well excited and I just can't wait for the dresses to fucking finally show up here! so i hope he did pay them - otherwise i will go mad!


and once again here's some flowers but the lady in the shop told me their were more and even cooler plants in summer, but it just ain't no frigging summer at the moment!



I just wonder when hasmuth will finally buy me some shoes, but i think it is very unlikely that there are any in my size for an affordable price to be found...
btw, i forgot, better late than never, now here's the jerry jackson christmas special

yours, haselore kohl

PS: inna end hammers beat pompey two nill - now that's a boxing day!!!

christmas day

..

though we had to cancel blackpool for this year christmas eve was alright. we kept on with the old british tradition of going out a bit later and getting drunk early and as usually ending up dancing on chairs and kissing waiters - and we told some poor jolly jerry that he was not dressed up properly and other people obviuosly overheard our conversation and dumped him onna outside soon after...


christmas day is a bummer especially when you watch it under the aspect of getting cool gifts and the day being a cool pagan celebration of winter solstice with lots of food and drink. not to forget all the cool gifts... now i wonder what I got...


luckily i got enough cash out of my begging scam to be able to buy hasmuth a gift that he did just not deserve, and it was a very cool mp3 of the rolling stones last time - and i knew that he hates early stones - he only likes them from mid 69 on as they've obviously managed to make some junkoholic out of very talented mick taylor and 'cause they've ruined the faces (hasmuth's an idiot who prefers the faces over the small faces...) as well as their own band by getting ron wood in and the only songs he likes are gimme shelter and fingerprint file cause he says that there dead funky!
.. and i hate hasmuth and so he gets the fucking last time, a song only second to get off of my cloud! hasmuth just does not think so cause he's a wanker or rather he will have to be one once i'm gone!


it looks like that i got 2 gifts - one was a cool book about the stones and now if i look at the header photo of this very post here i think that it's no wonder why they drowned brian jones in his swimming pool after they'd eliminated him out of the band...
he would just not make them lots of fans in germany - or maybe get them too many old people...


fuck man, what's that? and where does it come from??

i sure know those pictures from somewhere!!!


crap, i am very late already and I'll have to hop to what i'll tell hasmuth were an "important practice session, the results of which i owe to my pal treece" and what i am not really interested in explaining more detailled - at least for the moment...


so i will have to take a closer inspection of that cool gift on boxing day when i will be spending the day next to a radio to check out if the hammers are do well at upton

laters, yours haselore


PS i almost forgot, but here's the song

goldstar

..
recently i went down to my pal hugo's place. inna begining of the nineties hugo was the official photographer for goldstar


goldstar are - next to fargo - the most legendary band ever to come from hannover
[contrary to common belief the scorpions are not a band from hannover but an icehockey team from sarstedt and that is a part of hildesheim or goslar, but not of hannover, HK the smart editoress]


hugo believes that the core of goldstar was formed about 1991 in fast eddie's cousin's wife's wine cellar with apocalyptic helga from neutron bomb and captain starlight who was more like neutron bomb's mad hatter back then...


goldstar's bassplayer was the infamous teddy novak. keep in mind that novak was not a member of the original lineup so do not believe him if he tries to tell you differently!



goldstar were real cool and they had an appartment to live in - the famous golden hole that was a reference to mike ness' black hole down fullerton (which - judging from pld photos and documanatrys) appears inna way really similar to hannover...


down there place it was clean on the inside - and very exciting and well kept on the outside!


the guys from goldstar more or less all lived there. except for captain starlight and fast eddie - before they got kicked out of their respective flats.... especially eddie was drinking a lot as i could read in an old interview with zap magazin from homburg in 1995


on the photo pictured is the now legendary third goldstar line up with teddy novak, fast eddie and captain starlight.


this line up recorded and released the 7" E.P. "schwulske " on privileg tonträger in late 1995.
I will not show a copy of that 7" because it had offensive tracks on it like "daddy's got a pussy" and "der schwitzkasten"


but here's some other golden discs... and they very much indeed show that goldstar knew how to treat a dish!








goldstar were like masters in there specific roles and they knew how to tease an audience untill it went ape mad...


hugo gave me access to an unpublished goldstar interview he had done with them at the time their 7" E.P. was released.


but he said he could not licence his piece to Looking For Kohl. and i thought that was awful because i could have revealed really intimate details about the band as a unit as well as the group's individual attitudes


but - sadly for you more than for myself - i could not help him make up his mind - and for sure his two humble little servants didn't make my job any easier...


but back to the main topic - goldstar: after eddie had left the band to get himself a motorcycle and to ride to pakistan, goldstar got in one of the guys i went to verden with to see the freeze but i've forfotten forgot his name again, something like d. low - very much like the low in lo-fidelity...
but after him & novak quit the band, my pal starlight had to get my friend RT in as a second guitarrist and "mad" Mx on drums and they cranked out the mongo bar and maschine, but more about that later... hopefully!


I think there fifth lineup featured a bassplayer who was never introduced to hugo (here's the only photograph hugo was allowed to take) and the photo shows cpt. starlight and him having there regular brunch under a very old and very cool test tube babies poster...


i think one of goldstars best songs actually is "der schwitzkasten" because of epic lyrics like "gold-star: gut wie nie!"



.. and goldstar sure had some fans who now like i do: that...


there might be a best band inna world - but for all their fans know: "there will never be another goldstar better than the real goldstar!"...

yours, haselore

just can't win

..

I got a book about homeless people in U$ and A and it looks like that there is bums hanging round even in front of the capitol, so they should be careful they don't get hit onna head by one of those taliban operated planes waiting for some congressmen to hand them a quarter



and i am gonna find out if there is anything similar to the situation in washington DC going on right here in germany



I went to down to hannover city centre which is kind of a concrete jungle...


... with some wooden huts thrown in for good measure every here and there.


... and I went to check the places where there usually hanging around but there weren't any bums to documant on


well it was freezing cold on that day and there is not a lot of cheap flats inna city centre of hannover


so I checked the warmer spots that are accessible to the public


but there was nobun! so i had to hop out into the cold again, still no boots, fur onna paws soaked wet and everything bleeding freezing cold except for my upper body cause i had my very cool skiing gear on!


and i got lucky and i found somebun looking not that happy inna cold weather...


hot onna track of the real bums from germany i thought the city's main shopping street was probably a good place to pay a visit to!


and bingo! I found one and I noticed there were lots of tourists around, probably more than ready for getting into a little ablasshandel involving myself...


and this looked like a brilliant idea because christmas day was coming nearer and nearer and i was in bad need a quid or two so i could buy a proper gift for my hubby


i mean, after all.. you don't really have to sell you body much further than freezing your bum off for a few hours...


and even better is that your income is tax free - an I'll better keep it that way!

yours haselore kohl