windowshopping for a new crown of thorns

...

the weather looked so heavily mannered that it made bun want to hang out at home all day, listening to solstice or throbbing gristle or some other very evil music


sitting round at home, just making plans for nigel and how to bomb his real estate


so in order to stay sane i had to get out into the grand white open and that made me remember the band with the most extraordinarily dressed singer on earth. you can watch this for yourselves even if you might not like it. and you gotta look at the cool scottish winter that's just like scottish summer minus the migets


have a close look at the clip and watch that ultracool fringed leather jacket roddy frame is wearing - just smashing, init? and if you'll listen to the song carefully you'll easily notice that this version differs very much from the one on the high land hard rain album. but except for my good pal rat probably nobun will notice anyway cause there too busy listening to mp3s by tool (which is an american band by the way...)


aztec camera are further responsible for one of the best covers onna face of this planet (as usually bun could add...) - and you all now this horrible tune written by eddie


from my point of view (which is a very low point...) most obviously roddy frame was one of the brightest shining lights out of scotland, and he was something like an eighties version of stevie winwood - rockstar by the age of eighteen and a forgotten goner by the age of twenty five.


before you go and leave your house for real you'll have to check things out and then play your cards cool cause there is some risks you gotta take. especially if you walk over to the linden. even if the tabloids try to make you believe differently...


during this time of year you should pack some potent explosives to bomb your way through ice and snow.


... further you will need strong company and this gotta materialize as plastic cash just in case you're running out of luck and into a street gang or some f'in dog and you have to bribe your way out of a possible mess before you get seriously injured


..and if you don't have that spare quid for a cab handy in your pockets you might get hit and run over by some bus - just accidentally


down the getto of linden i realized for the first time that there were the same organizations around that we have at home, well... not exactly at home...


but we got some heavily armed vehicles in case of trouble


this said it is not very wise to walk the streets of linden without a gat and a map...


so you better run for shelter inna church. i asked them if her divine majesty happened to be in for service but she weren't and they kicked me out for asking stupid questions. back then i did not know that the shining star on the top of the roof is a sign they put on to tell people that jah is busy with her shopping and that she can't answer any questions right now not even on her mofo


two blocks away from that church I saw a building and i wondered if i could meet up with jah or any other of the really cool gods in there


but the door was closed and know i think it were just the office of the atiberian communist party. there's lots of them inna linden who think they got anything to do with politics when there just interested in blowing there brains out on cheap booze while practising a bit of a pow wow while having a smoke


most places here are very similar indeed to those that i know from the midlands, they got hi-rise living and they got houses that look like squats... and they got those cheap bars where the music is loud but still overshadowed by the senseless babbling of the drunkards...


and if i come to look at it more closely i am not too sure that I want to be buried on neither the real part of hannover on the other side of the bridge not here on the shit part


inna place where even the energy is so positive that its got its own shiny pink logo


and where there's just promises by greedy shopkeepers - cause you won't find any good winter clothing down these shops to keep you warm and cosy - just some sorta stuff that makes me think of TG again, dunno why...


most of the places down the linden look like...


well ... i spare you that fourletterword for the better


because we all now: bettah muss come! ... and bettah better come real soon!




and if bettah not come, I just hope that I won't end up an epileptic...



same to you, yours haselore kohl

dali's sunflower

...

yes it's probably true and everybunny is promoting this... but what i am promoting now again is not some dogshit but indeed is one of the best coverversions onna face of this planet. ...and it's by frightwig who sadly never got their act together or even made a good album back then ... and it's not only cool because it is a cover by the unforgettable shonen knife


too bad that i cannot find the coverversion of the latter song that was done by government issue when they were at there peak - so you will have to look it up somewhere on the old shonen knife tribute sampler for yourselves

again, you will notice i got some very cool flowers here - it does not look exactly like dali's sunflower, but... what the heck... here it is anyway



enjoy, yours haselore kohl

ultramilitance

... yesterday i was maintaining my personal internet and I was surprised to see somebun offering me a deal onna original german tiger tank and obviously it's got tons of cool features to come along with it...


"...and the tiger is very probably the best invention the germans ever had since 1935" said somebun from a local hardcore band - he who shall not (...and not even by his intials) be named - for certain reasons


... trying to become one of the real great british patriots that are out there i have well learned from that horrible mistake chubby chris from combat 84 made politically when inna song he asked for more cruise missiles and got dissed for that by the BM...



so i think getting a chieftain tank might be a better option than spending too many euros on some jerry armoury...


not that i thought the tiger were a bad tank to drive and disrespect you jerrys' engineers... but... as the BM recognised - why should i buy any foreign product when we have so many unemployed workers at home in coventry, birmingham and dozens of other similar fucked up places? ...plus the chieftain is a much better tank than the tiger regarding the fact it's not that old, has a better engine and gun and that it does'nt come inna desert camou paint that'd be really odd to have know that's snowing outside...


it#s just that us british like all that nazi stuff and the longer I thought about it the more the get-a-tiger proposal sounded good cause the ad read that i could just order it and instantly the concept for another cool installation came to mind. i guess i will call it: "some butt plugged frog pastry eagerly chasing a nazi tank while being greeted with cheers by the gay crowd. happening more than 300 miles away from mont martre."



and even better: there offer to most comfortably getting the tank via mailorder hand having it delivered to my doorstep and not having to make a shitty pick it up inna east down some of der national befreite zonen I've read about in some travel guide. where some of der scary zonen-nazis could possibly mix me up me with somebun originating from vietnam if i try to sell some stolen fags there for a little travel money, cause they don't know shit about races their and think there own - mostly inferior looking - jerry race were the best.


... and then I could end up totally fucked up courtesy of stanley knife or screw driver so that i weren't such a pretty bunny anymore! which i think were just terrible cause my face looks good as it is right know!!

from what i hear though is that jah herself is driving one of those invincible german tiger tanks to stop assholes creeping up down mount zion protecting my bruthas and sistas up their having a good time with some excellent herb and not having to share this with some racist scumbag!


man, if that's true now somebun better hurry up get one of those tigers to keep anybun else who i suspect to be a tainted scumbag off my fucking real estate just like jah protects hers!!

... but much better were if i just sent hasmuth down east cause it#s freezing cold outside and he could get lost somewhere onna outside for worse... or for the better...


but i i think won't be that cruel in regard of poor hasmuth and i will rather mailorder a tiger but i need money to have some c.o.it's d. - so i'm off for know, out onna streets again - begging for some money and singing "I -bun satta at the mountain top - watching babylon burning red hot, red hot" and i will have good reason to remember killa "car crash" milla onna on my way down town, cause there was signs posted anywhere to remind you of this man of honour and cool vocal style and it makes clear that if you own a car and some herb and want to party down you should have an extra driver for the way back home


meet you onna internet soon for another one of my cool pieces and always remember to give a helping hand to a brother in need unless you wanna see him roasted and barbecued just like poor old tookie has got...


funny enough that next one should go out to mr. whiteman of the whiteman family, who although may not necessarily have been be a fan of the music was definately into most of the stuff they were about and i'll bet you are too - in spite of what anybun might argue this is one of the coolest covers ever and has a very cool intro!


... and well, karl buechner, in spite of his really strange jerry sounding name he woulda been a cult figure for anybun (not just some bollo hardcore kids who these days just have to pretend that they never played his records) if he at least had tried an abortion before expressing his contempt about this practice cause how can you judge something if you never tried it out for yourselves.

take care as the yanks say, yours

till slut: hellsongs fran göteborg

...
finally i managed to retrace those cool photographs showing myself with hellsongs from gothenburg!
...onna warm evening in autumn of zero 9 i had gone off to der mephisto bar (by the way thanks to PS for putting me on his guest list, but I hope that next time he'll put me onna free drinks list there as well!).


göteborg (as the swedes like to call that place and because i am cool i will use that name too from now on) is known to many a headbanger as the city that spawned lots of metal bands like tiamat (who started off as treblinka funny enough...) and at the gates respectively their 'punk' version skitsystem. ... and i think even anti cimex who for my own personal taste would be the best band by far out of the package then, because i think that nihilist and carnage were from stockholm.... but... ring my bell... there was union carbide productions, they were from the original gbg punk scene and they were like one of the best bands in the world who had an albini produced fourth album only to become the soundtracks of our lives later on.



hellsongs sure do have got a great keyboarder who pushes out the necessary few sharp chords you probably need to make versions like that to sound that good...


... and the singer, she's a really good one and she has an exceptional style bun could put it - but just look at her very loud shoes, i wonder if she painted them inna yellow colour all by herself... this is so heavy! plus i really loved her showy shirt that the singer wore cause i thought it would look smashing onna photograph along with the curve-accentuating sequin dress with the plunging neckline i was wearing this night.
... and even better hear know you can check out what hellsongs sound like



after the show i was hanging around hellsongs' merch table...


... and i had a good plan: once i would have attracted there attention and got them into smalltalk their would be no escape for them from my daring questions! i was not going to have another artist's escape like cyness's!

and it worked out: i really got them into the show - first for a cool artist's portrait...


... and a tad later even for my famous 3QK (just 3hree Questions for looking for Kohl) interview and deeply into the artists' persons


you know, hellsongs they are really shy people and i guess they would not even like to see there names printed here, but i think there using fake names any way... so it won't matter - as long as they don't come up to my burrow for sticking carrots up my bum!


so here's the interview with hellsongs: johan, kalle [I'll bet he's named after karl-gustav - för kung och fösterland, yours HK, queen of the cool qute]) & siri who is from norway and therefore does not have a cool swedish name cause walter said the norwegians are not allowed to carry these names cause they are not part of the EC and will never be as for the permanent hunting of whales and fish and i still don't know if i should believe him or not...

LFK: how old are you, johan?
Johan: thirty.... one
LFK: how old are you, kalle?
Kalle: i am as old as the metal scene in gothenburg
LFK: how... aaahhh... siri, what's your favourite flowers? (... as i've obviously realized that Ii can't ask a lady for her real age..)
Siri: Lilies!

LFK: what's the song you like to play most?
Johan: 'war pigs'
Siri: 'perfect. next questtion!'

LFK: how do you feel now after the show?
Johan: 'great! ...and maybe a little bit... kckrckrrkkk' thirsty'
[i don't think that he really said thirsty, to be honest I do not have a clue as to what he said, but as i've probably mentioned elsewhere hellsongs are shy people that speak onna very low level of volume, HxKx]
Kalle: 'great'
Siri: 'great'


i can't find any pictures of lily's [now thats a cool pun, most def! hk] on my hard disk drive right now, but after you enjoyed the who playing it, here is yet another video of hellsongs - and as you know from the cool interview it's hellsong's favourite song!



yours, haselore kohl