Wednesday 30 December 2009

mob rules

bun was out onna street again - no not for a living, but to check how the cool mullah regime down iran was doing cause achmadinejihad or whatever his complicated name#s spelled correctly, he's a good chap and somebun's envying his wife because he is cool for combining down to earth suits with a rad beard and he is talking bollocks allday long so that the buddies all hate him and therefore bun gotta like that guy quite a lot because he's good entertainmant. other than somebun's own hubby hasmuth who's talking rubbish all day long just to annoy her... and his dress is nothing more than just a stupid iron mask that looks so cheap that bun must think it's just made from a beer can and not by a goldsmith as he would always try to tell people...

but there was a headline that was much more interesting - and it was about some village up north that publishes a map of the best places to buy some good quality reefer and possibly other cool stuff bun could experiment on! bun went down to the station but there weren't any trains going off for that direction...

so bun tried to get more info from the cops down the big supermarket, cause they should now best where that place is and maybe even take her there!

but they said bun should make herself useful rather, do some investigation write an essay and sell it to the local papers - and bun had a cool pic with her, but then the cops told me nobun out there was interested in stories about animals because they are boring, so it was necessary to look out for a different and better issue

they mentioned that bun was already getting on there nerves and they told her that if she ever asked them again for what they called "irgendwelcher anderer berauschender substanzen" they'd bust her instantly...

and worse: they even said that if they ever caught your humble editoresse selling any dope in front of pre-schools they would hang her up by the balls [and once again yet - one of my classy puns! yours, HK, smart editoress]

then bun went out onna streets again - and it seems that somebun raised some hell for some other buny who did not pay his dues timely - so there was some cool topic! sadly somebun was a bit late for the actual bombing so there were some technicians only who were busy reconstructing the building...

they had a cool spotlight handy, so that bun could have some cool portraits made of herself right onna scene of destruction and devastation

.... but then she got under the impression that she was regarded as something as an attraktion der woche

makes her wonder wonder if those guys never have never seen a female reporter invistigating this closely to the facts, so... what kind offa fucked up world are those guys living in...?

do they really expect your humble editoress to work as a playboy bunny?? let's hope not, cause this would really turn her off... ... from those fucking sexist pricks!!!

next day it was to read that somebun actually got terminated inna mob action (which usually involves ripping off insurance companies as well...) and bun realized that she was much too late with taking her photos to the papers. but good luck was that she found some coins inna snow in front of the shop. and then that she had more dosh than she needed for the travelling expenses so it was all about heading straight for a pub that had not been set ablaze yet - but upon arrival there the door was closed though bun was curious what was going on in there...

being out onna street usually reminds bun of the song black diamond inna coverversion by the replacements - but knowwhere to be found is that specific recording onna internet - so you have to get there 'let it be' album to hear it - or you will have to watch something even better, paul westerberg playing i will dare on his own which is real good - but you'll have to watch john doe doing i will dare cause his version is ace!!!

btw: here's a smashing live version of heart full of soul by chris isaak - one of the few standouts of american culture

still succeeding in taking journalism up to the next and better quality level,

honestly yours, haselore kohl

Tuesday 29 December 2009

how much art can you take?


there is not that much art that you will have to take this time, but it is of a better quality than most else's bunny's art. 'cause yesterday i had a meeting with one of the important artists down my barrio, the infamous ES who is beknownst for her regardless agitation against the authorities to stand in her way - and to quote the tom robinson band now: "right on sister!" - or something like that...

the first piece of art that i am going to show you is a cool installation going by the name of "Schaf hilft Pferd beim Kopfstand". in english this title translates to "A disgusting horse hopefully breaking her neck trying to perform the turnvater fritzen - being executed by some cool sheep for who i am gonna buy a couple of drinks later on"

her next piece is a rather abstract painting that deals with the topic of a subject getting physically and mentally dealt with by the authorities and how under such circumstances that subject would view her personal guard inna distorted way as a response to the oppression of mind and body - at least that#s what i got as a comment to this piece out of the artists flatmate cause the artist herself she were off to bed already as for not feeling well...

if i can remember clearly the painting was called "ach, die da oben..." and bun could roughly translate this to "it's a training course - by forces of oppression" though somebun might argue this were a bit of an oversimplification to the matter ... well, art for art's sake really tires me, but this has got some meaning. same goes for the best installation ever by teddy novak, that

is called "hitfits" and it has a very complex soundtrack recording coming along with it!

now enjoy the artwork and ask yourself how for much longer you will tolerate stuff like this... but what's more nazi than a cool slamdance pit? probably nothing! so enjoy some volence, and that's got really nothing to do with the rest of the text here...

up yours, haselore kohl

Monday 28 December 2009

atrocity exhibition


... inna dim light at der glocksee i had problems recognizing what sky was wearing there...

but it was resembling something i knew I had already well documanted some other night!

due to my cool ability of linking the facts faster than anybunny else in her brain - even right here down babylon - i knew exactly what was going on and I told dumont some lies of how i fancied his new cool tattoo and thus managed to get a ltlle bit closer to him ... maybe a bit too close because he even let me inspect his new beltbuckle closely - but i weren't too impressed with that 'cause that annoying ticking of his mighty watch was so loud that a ringing started in me ears!

well i'm off - I'll listen to some schwarzenbach rather than to more of the depressing stuff cause after all he's got a better voice than hangman when he don't sing the real depressing stuff plus a better guitar sound and as for myself: i gotta get up too early.

so do like i would do and do yourself a favour and stop listening to shit music - whatever that is defined as...
these days, yours haselore

Sunday 27 December 2009

give the mule what she wants

and as you can guess she is is well into heavy rock - so somebun gotta have dinner before going out so that the basspsrts would not turn her stomach upside down

because.. inna last week i waent off to an oldschool hard blues rock evening with bits of distorted guitars, tambourine and some bass heavy grooves - yeah in der very cool lokalpatrioten style and "supporting two dedicated local bands who deserve the attention well"- as the guy from profane existence magazine would have very probably put it - providing she still had the magazine going...

onna way to der glocksee i passed a devastated old building with old ads for boring documantaries inna "the soviet army meet der reichstag" style once glued to them

down at der glocksee i soon made aquaintance with my pal king v. and he took me to his room, where he had a session going on with hier krepiert III. but what they were playing down the cellar with his band... well... to be quite honest sounded a bit senseless to me... and sometimes really ouit of tune... inna way.... as you might want to check out for your beautiful selves by clicking right here

and as you will have probably already found for yourselves out by know is that i gotta watch hier krepiert playing some of the most awful hippie type krautrock filled with so many old cliches that I#ve rarely heard them performed this boldly in recent times...

then came the time h.o.r.e kicked off their set at the cafe and i went up the icy flight of stairs straight direction of little babylon to check them out for myself and they were alright and real heavy as you can see right here

h.o.r.e. were really well trained and they did have a wall of sound. i bet that they could have gone on for much longer than they actually played. ... and i think they maybe played for a bit longer than what would have been necessary - but after all: they have a tambourine and they were gonna use it in some of they're songs which i think is very cool & hyenas style, and i thought they were playing some proper when the levee breaks styled hard & heavy rock with lots of cool beats. .. and as for my very self; i had a rteally good time onna dancefloor!

though some people inna audience giving me there cool evil eyes and i still dunno why; maybe they did not like that i was in company of a professional film team and a couple of bodyguards - but nevermind the bollocks and just screw the lot of them - i was having stupid fun!

but then what i will never understand about h.o.r.e. and all other bands over here using english lyrics is that why on earth they are singing inna english language that most jerrys simply won't understand as my previous experiences inna dis country here show from what i have experienced with it's natives... and for real: nobun here in germany is really interested in understanding any english though they all use it for making up there fake english-style words like calling a bleeding mofo a fucking handy - the nips you know, they at least can write some english which makes up for their terrible pronounciation and that they don't understand a word you say, but the jerrys... you know, they all think they are fucking US citizens just because they had some of ther buddies' nukes stored under some motorways and bridges and honestly the fritzens are nothing better than what you would have thought of the frogs...

i mean, german's such a heavy language to learn as I know from my daily experiences, so why'd you learn another language once you got top speak your own halfway properly at least...
but now you should now rather enjoy another short vid showing myself getting onna dancefloor yet again after having a short nip onna bar table, than endlessly thinking about what language you're going to use in your next sentence

later after the show it was time to meet up with the important stickie behind the decks and getting dumont into playing some lazy sunday so i could hop around for some more time cause i would not want to go home to hear fucking juggaknots with hasmuth - but then fuck sixties prog rock what was that onna her arm....

well, this needs some further and a real properly done investigation! for sure soon onna looking for kohl

see you around, yours haselore

Saturday 26 December 2009

dressed to kill

man, that's supposed to be the best christmas i've ever had!
hasmuth maybe a small minded idiot who is listening to crap music only and stealing money from my purse, but this time he must have robbed more than just filling stations because he can't have found that much money in my bag!

for christmas he has actually ordered tailor made designer dresses for me! so i can get dressed properly for all those cool interviews and features that I am going to do soon!

you know when i got to know hasmuth he was still a mod. but he never ever did a good job maintaining his scooter and he did not listen to the small faces and early stones so the other mods would not accept him, especially when some of them started to follow the skinhead cult and hasmuth did not want to shave the fur from his head!

so he turned to hip hop and rap where you just have to do silly hops and talk in funny patterns like "everytime i time i wanna go, get a fucking brew i gonna go down to the store with the two - orientalonepenny countin muthafuckas they make somebunny mad enough to cause a li'l ruckus..." [heeeehhhh!!! that's blatant racism and i feel very much insulted! your smart editoress, hk]

honestly, what's better than listening to the pistols and staring at the first of five cool dresses in total disbelief?!?

... and here now is a brilliant dress that looks like jamie reed finally told viv westwood how to design a proper outfit for the evening and not the usual crap she's been doing for the last 33 years! and it's even got a tiara as a cool bonus! and that's an acessoire that will not actually save the fur on my head from being burnt by the hot sun - but it should look so very cool once iI wear it!

incredible! the second dress looks very much like versace's interpretation of an old blut & eisen or schleimkeim record... i think this is really cool for any interview where i meet any american band. be it from the south or the north of the amricas.
.. but the more i see the more i believe that i should meet a band from chile or perhaps from spain, providing they have any bands at all down these countries - I will have to find out if there are any bands!
I think I will look lkike a cool parody and way more attractive than siouxsie or even arnie's mum in her prime!!!

blimey! the third one is a cool camouflage dress and this should be really useful when i go out into the woods to assisst some hunt sab buddies or should i say bunnies...?
and this cool outfit will help me not to get shot accidently as for looking so very similar to a common hare somebun wants to have for dinner or wearing his fur...
i just wondered from where on my blog the designer picked up the image. i can't remember at all...

this unbeatable dress is supposed to look very cool! and my cool dress that i brought over from the west country was combined with an image of that cool heart i am always wearing when i put my saxon west on...

oh boy! now this is very exciting!!! somebun even took her time to make some bootleg portrait of mine!

man, what's that? that's awesome! how much will that have costed my hubby to order?

and the dress looks just like if somebun like mark perry finally told westwood what a really cool outfit looks like! I wonder what kind of hat i will wear for that. maybe my cool woolen balaclava that top-designer HYL made for me!

once i have this dress in my greedy paws it looks like i should request another interview with the Franz Wittich - one of the best band leaders onna face of this planet!

if hasmuth reads this and just in case he could not read between the lines -
I am bleeding well excited and I just can't wait for the dresses to fucking finally show up here! so i hope he did pay them - otherwise i will go mad!

and once again here's some flowers but the lady in the shop told me their were more and even cooler plants in summer, but it just ain't no frigging summer at the moment!

I just wonder when hasmuth will finally buy me some shoes, but i think it is very unlikely that there are any in my size for an affordable price to be found...
btw, i forgot, better late than never, now here's the jerry jackson christmas special

yours, haselore kohl

PS: inna end hammers beat pompey two nill - now that's a boxing day!!!

Friday 25 December 2009

christmas day


though we had to cancel blackpool for this year christmas eve was alright. we kept on with the old british tradition of going out a bit later and getting drunk early and as usually ending up dancing on chairs and kissing waiters - and we told some poor jolly jerry that he was not dressed up properly and other people obviuosly overheard our conversation and dumped him onna outside soon after...

christmas day is a bummer especially when you watch it under the aspect of getting cool gifts and the day being a cool pagan celebration of winter solstice with lots of food and drink. not to forget all the cool gifts... now i wonder what I got...

luckily i got enough cash out of my begging scam to be able to buy hasmuth a gift that he did just not deserve, and it was a very cool mp3 of the rolling stones last time - and i knew that he hates early stones - he only likes them from mid 69 on as they've obviously managed to make some junkoholic out of very talented mick taylor and 'cause they've ruined the faces (hasmuth's an idiot who prefers the faces over the small faces...) as well as their own band by getting ron wood in and the only songs he likes are gimme shelter and fingerprint file cause he says that there dead funky!
.. and i hate hasmuth and so he gets the fucking last time, a song only second to get off of my cloud! hasmuth just does not think so cause he's a wanker or rather he will have to be one once i'm gone!

it looks like that i got 2 gifts - one was a cool book about the stones and now if i look at the header photo of this very post here i think that it's no wonder why they drowned brian jones in his swimming pool after they'd eliminated him out of the band...
he would just not make them lots of fans in germany - or maybe get them too many old people...

fuck man, what's that? and where does it come from??

i sure know those pictures from somewhere!!!

crap, i am very late already and I'll have to hop to what i'll tell hasmuth were an "important practice session, the results of which i owe to my pal treece" and what i am not really interested in explaining more detailled - at least for the moment...

so i will have to take a closer inspection of that cool gift on boxing day when i will be spending the day next to a radio to check out if the hammers are do well at upton

laters, yours haselore

PS i almost forgot, but here's the song